Text: Marianne McDonald. Photography: Supplied. Article from the May 2013 issue of Living and Loving Magazine.
Successful pregnancies do happen later in life – as these women prove.
British statistics reveal that the average age of women giving birth in the UK is 29 years of age. This means the average age has risen by four years since 1975. Many of us don’t need to look at statistics to see this phenomenon in action since many of our mothers and grandmothers began having children in their early 20s.
So what’s changed?
Most current studies point to how women are now spending more time on education, building careers, and even marrying later in life.
This means that even if women are having babies in their early 30s, the second child will sometimes only arrive after the mom is 35.
Everyone is different
Gynaecologist Dr Tom Mokaya says:
“Bodily changes in women are a natural progression. Therefore, there isn’t something that suddenly happens on the day you turn 35 that’s going to make it more difficult for you to have children.
“The age of 35 has been used as a benchmark because at birth, a woman will have half a million eggs. By the time she reaches puberty that drops to about 50 000, and only 350 will mature and be released during ovulation.”
Mokaya explains that falling pregnant in your late 30s and beyond depends on how receptive and responsive your body is:
“A woman may not ovulate as often or as easily later in life because the older she gets the less responsive her uterus becomes to implantation – so her eggs may never implant, or the woman may experience a miscarriage.”
Mokaya says that eggs released later in life may not be as high quality as those released earlier and this can cause problems.
“Although the risk of structural abnormalities doesn’t necessarily increase with age, genetic and chromosomal abnormalities can become an issue.”
How to ensure a healthy pregnancy after 35
“Firstly, to increase your chance of falling pregnant, it’s vital to stop contraceptive measures early, even up to two years before you start trying. This is particularly the case with the long-term contraceptive injection since it takes the body’s cycle time to settle into its own rhythm. The pill is not as much of a problem but it may take a bit of time, so planning ahead by around six months to a year is necessary,” adds Mokaya. “Once you’re pregnant, consider going for prenatal counseling to ensure there’s no history of abnormalities in the family, or a history of miscarriage. You’ll also need to be screened for medical problems such as diabetes, hypertension and high blood pressure, which you might already have but not know about,” says Mokaya.
You can dramatically reduce your risk of problems by having regular antenatal check-ups with your doctor and monitoring your pregnancy under their guidance. Second and third trimester screenings are particularly important.
Mokaya also insists that women must do their best to lead a healthy lifestyle, which includes a healthy diet and moderate exercise. There’s no harm in taking vitamins, but it’s important that they don’t replace healthy food. Folic acid, however, is an absolute essential.
“Watch your weight and reduce your stress levels, which is a major contributing factor to miscarriage. Cut back on work hours and get enough rest. In my opinion, a 35-year-old’s ovaries can be just as healthy as a 29-year-old’s,” he adds.
You can dramatically reduce your risks by having regular antenatal check-ups with your doctor.
Kerese Thom – mother to Jack (3) and Kenya (18 months)
Life coach and reiki master Kerese Thorn had her first baby at 37 and her second at 39. She believe wholeheartedly that it was the right choice for her.
“Being a mother is such an all-consuming, intense journey and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I was probably too selfish in my 20s, but the whole thing about having children is that it’s a personal decision. You can’t discount the impact these changes have on your life.
“I’m so glad that I waited, because when it finally happened, I was so ready. It’s supposed to be joyful and, when you’re ready, that’s just what it is.
“I’ve always been a career-orientated person and I put having a baby on hold because I enjoyed the work I was doing. But I also realised it was a high-stress environment and that I couldn’t give everything to my children that I wanted to.
“I’m still a working mom, but I’m now able to work around my kids rather than making them the subject to my career.”
Kerese also says having a baby brought her back to herself:
“When I was working in a corporate environment, I found that doing more projects took me further away from what I loved.
“I also don’t sweat the small stuff as much. I’m fitter now than I’ve ever been, spending hours running after, playing, and laughing with them. In the beginning, of course, you’re exhausted but when they get a little older, you’ll look and feel younger than any of your friends who don’t have kids.
“You begin eating their basic diet and your health takes on a new meaning as you keep things simple. You want to stay healthy to be with them as long as possible.”
Although there are so many positives, Kerese admits that the only negative is that it’s more challenging to fall pregnant, but for her it was a challenge she was able to overcome.
Benefits of birthing after 35
Experts have noticed some differences in women who choose to give birth later:
- They tend to be calmer.
- Older moms are usually in established and stable relationships.
- They have all the support they need Financial stability means less stress during pregnancy.
- There’s often more time for the kids
Jacqui Jacks, six months pregnant
Jackie was fortunate enough to fall pregnant almost immediately at the age of 36.
“I always knew I wanted to have a family of my own ‘one day’. It just took me a little longer to meet the right partner. By the time I reached my 30s, I felt the pressure of each passing year. I do think there’s a lot of pressure to conform to social norms and times have changed. I hadn’t specifically put having a baby on hold. It just happened later for me.
“I think there are many benefits in having a baby later: maturity, life experience, and financial stability. I’ve lived my life and am ready to make whatever sacrifices motherhood requires.”
Jackie says there aren’t drawbacks since she hasn’t found pregnancy difficult:
“I was regularly doing Bikram yoga leading up to the pregnancy, so I think taking care of your health definitely helps. I just have a few more grey hairs than most moms in their 20s,” she laughs.
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