Every dad has an important role to play with regard to bringing up their sons. Your son will appreciate your sound advice and could be saved from a number of future disasters and humiliations.
Many boys grow up under three false ideas of masculinity – athletic ability, wealth accumulation, and sexual conquest. However, true masculinity can be defined by two primary principles. The first is relationships – to be loved and to love your family. The other is to follow a higher purpose bigger than yourself.
The obvious tips
Teach your son how to ride a bike, work with his hands, handle money, and positively interact with others, but most importantly, that his dreams and desires are achievable.
The appeal of being a gentleman
Explain why it is important to show respect by holding open a door, standing up when a woman leaves or joins the table, attempting to pick up the bill, collecting the car if it’s raining, and offering a hand when needed. Gentlemanly actions should always be offered subtly and graciously set aside if refused.
Step up to the responsibility
A true man takes responsibility for his choices, actions, values, and beliefs and is also willing to admit gracefully when he is wrong.
Strength in vulnerability
A man that is honest about his feelings and is not afraid for them to be known, shows strength, not vulnerability. Don’t build walls to protect yourself from being hurt, as this just leads to blocks being formed that will eventually leave you feeling vulnerable.
Be a real man, not a talker or a basher
Tough posturing and big talk don’t make you a real man. A real man doesn’t complain about social problems, he’d rather help sort out the issues. He won’t point fingers, but rather find a solution. A real man works from self-giving love rather than brute force and knows that the best solution to any difficulty involves love.
True manhood is inclusive
Don’t exclude women from conversations, listen carefully and disagree politely. Men who associate machismo or bluster with strength are usually covering something up and those who think women have nothing to contribute to the conversation need to step into the 21st Century.
A giver rather than a getter
We live in a culture, which often touts a “men see what they want and they go out and get it” view of being a man. But being a man is more along the lines of “see what the world needs and go out and do it.” Her strength is leveraged for the benefit of others.
Cleanliness is manliness
Teach your son that it is his responsibility to keep his life in order. Housework and taking care of the children is a shared responsibility and not the woman’s sole responsibility. You’ll also be teaching your child that stereotypes are there to be challenged.
Relax through the stress
You can coach your son on how to deal with stress, whether it be through mindfulness, eating healthily, exercise or the joys of an occasional spa break. Explain that taking time out for oneself is essential and that it is also ok to say no if you feel taken advantage of.
These suggestions are only a highlight of all the things you could possibly share with your son. Be wise and remember that what you instill in your son today, will be his guiding light into the future.
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