Children can adjust easily to having a sibling with cerebral palsy, however problems could arise if the situation is not dealt with correctly.
Having a new child with special needs can be very challenging and even more so if there are other siblings involved. Siblings are normally competitive or feel neglected even when the baby is not disabled and if you do your best to balance the attention, this should dissipate eventually.
It may seem wise to hide the truth of the matter from the siblings for whatever reasons. However this won’t help matters in the long run, so it’s a better idea to gently ease them into the reality of the situation.
There is no reason to get technical when explaining the situation to the siblings. Rather take into consideration the age group of your child and help alleviate any fears that they may have. If your child shows an interest when you carry out the special exercises your cerebral palsy child requires, explain that these exercises are necessary to help strengthen their little legs because their legs don’t work the same as theirs and that it may take a long time before they do work like theirs.
Reassure them that their sibling cannot die from cerebral palsy as they will probably be concerned by all the routine visits to the doctors and specialists. Avoid telling your children half-truths as this will only confuse them further. Diffusing your child’s fear helps them to feel important and allows them to become a vital part in the care giving process.
The process of informing your child doesn’t end as your disabled child grows and progresses, so it’s best to positively voice your encouragement with their siblings. Even though your child understands that their sibling is disabled, they may not realise what their sibling can and cannot do.
Periodically point out to your child the siblings progression and let them know how amazing it is that they are progressing so fast. This not only helps them to better understand their sibling’s progress, it will create a positive reinforcement of their feelings towards their disabled sibling.
You should create times when you spend quality moments with the siblings. Leave your special needs child at home with a family member or caregiver to go on special outings. This prevents the other siblings from showing signs of resentment from lack of attention and variation in their life. You do not want them to feel they are suffering on behalf of the special needs sibling.
It doesn’t have to be just you or your partner who looks after your special needs child. So don’t feel bad about allocating certain tasks to the older siblings, such as playing for development or helping with the exercises and general health care. The whole family will benefit by being involved with the care of the little one and it gives you quality time for other things too.
Social interaction development can be difficult for your special needs child. However, having other children in the home can eliminate this problem for both your special needs child and the siblings. Being around others of the same age group teaches your special needs child to be himself and not feel under pressure to perform. Studies have also shown that children have a positive sense of themselves if they are actively involved with their disabled siblings.
Grandparents may tend to shower the special needs child with love and can sometimes overprotect and spoil your child. It is best to discourage them from doing so, as this not only impedes normal social development but can cause resentment among the other siblings involved.
For many parents, welcoming a special needs child into the family is a life changing experience, although often many discover that they have all the resources they need to cope and the positives outweigh the negatives by far.
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