Every parent wants their child to have everything, but there is a danger of going too far and your child may start showing signs of a spoiled brat.
The long-term consequences can be quite severe. Not only do you have to contend with a whiny complainer, but your child may grow into an irresponsible, financially dependent adult plagued by debt and overspending.
Let’s take into consideration that today’s parents and children are subjected to mass advertising, corporate influence and our banking technology, teaching children that money doesn’t grow on trees, it actually comes flying out of ATM’s. The times have certainly changed and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to maintain a positive balance, whilst dealing with your child’s needs and wants.
“You do your kids a terrible disservice if they go out into the world thinking it revolves around them,” says Dr. Lichtman.
It’s normal for parents to fear frustrating, angering or undercutting their child’s love for them. However, children actually thrive on discipline and when parents start taking steps to stop the indulgence, they often discover their child is far more relaxed and contented.
In a Parents poll, 42 percent of readers admitted to having spoilt children and 80 percent think spoiling children now will affect them in the long term. If your child acts entitled every time they don’t get their way, reverse this behaviour with the help of these attitude-adjusting suggestions.
‘No’ is no!
It isn’t always easy saying no, but it is most important that your child is taught and understands your boundaries. Just be sure that you and your spouse are on the same page when delivering the message.
Don’t apologise
There is no need to be remorseful when you can’t succumb to your child’s demands. It helps to empathize with their disappointment and this in turn shows that you respect their feelings. Just avoid harping on what caused it.
Manipulated parent
Every parent hates listening to a tantrum, whether it’s from an 8-year-old, slamming her door over your refusal to buy her a cell phone or a child who refuses to leave at the end of a play-date.
Giving into a child’s demands can probably be the worst step a parent can take. The main reason a child continues to have meltdowns is that they’re successful.
If you don’t engage the behaviour, it will stop! Instead, calmly take your child aside to where she can finish. Once children realise their manipulations aren’t working, they’re less likely to act up in the future.
Patience is a virtue
Since we live in a touch-screen world of instant gratification, these technologies have caused kids to develop unrealistic expectations about what they want, when they want it and how they’re going to get it. Holding off on indulgences will help your child develop self-discipline and allow him to place a higher value on the things he does receive.
“Some parents want their children to have everything for free,” says Katherine Dean, managing director of wealth planning at Wells Fargo Private Bank. “But the real world doesn’t work that way.”
Encouragement instead of gifts
Giving your child compensation for every little accomplishment will lead to your child losing his natural drive to excel at things. By contrast, constructive praise will boost his motivation and it will stick with your child a lot longer.
Time investment
Believe it or not, your child would prefer your undivided attention even more than the item they’ve been begging for. Consistent one-on-one time with you will strengthen the emotional connection between you and your child and you will definitely gain more cooperation.
Brace yourself for the meltdowns.
There are bound to be meltdowns at first, so pace yourself and remember to react in a very neutral and calm way
Understand Yourself
If you feel guilt-riddled about working all the time, plan a bit of quality time with your child, instead of impulsively buying a new gift. The gift won’t make up for lost time and will not have a lasting impact on their happiness.
Work leads to appreciation
Teach your child to work for their wants. Whether it be paying them for extra chores done or washing the neighbourhood dogs – your child will develop an appreciation for everything he has.
It is never too late to start! Don’t give up, even when it appears to be a losing battle. Your children will not only gain more respect for you, but their adult lives will be balanced and far more enriched in the long term.
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