A mother’s day is never done, especially if you are a working mum, coping with all your own commitments and then having to deal with the pressure of raising your children and running the home.
As mothers we feel obliged to carry all the responsibilities in our homes and then feel resentful when our efforts go unappreciated or unnoticed. This eventually leads to feelings of resentment and bitterness, then fatigue sets in and before you realise you’re heading straight for an emotional or physical burnout.
The warning signs and symptoms start off subtly and should not go unnoticed, particularly if they become consistent and overwhelming.
Emotional symptoms:
Hostility, irritability and anger
A sense of helplessness and powerlessness
Having so much to do, yet feeling bored
Loss of interest and decline in your social life
Physical symptoms:
Despite getting adequate sleep you still feel fatigued
Insomnia, waking up at odd times
Low immune system – a higher occurrence of ailments and constant flu symptoms
Behavioural symptoms:
Isolating yourself from those around you
A diminishing sex drive
Procrastinating or withdrawing from your responsibilities
Using drugs, alcohol or food to cope
Taking out your frustrations on those closest to you
Arriving at work late and leaving early or skipping it altogether
The key to preventing a burnout is to take care of yourself and to find a sound support system.
“A burnout comes from trying to give what I do not possess,” says spiritual educator, Parker Palmer.
When it comes to taking care of yourself, you need to realise that you can’t take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself. It is important to recharge by relaxing and taking timeout. Try starting an activity, whether it be reading a book, taking a walk or exercising – it must be something you enjoy. An activity will not only help you relax and recharge, it will also provide a greater sense of control over your future and your life, which helps eradicate that sense of powerlessness and boredom.
Burnout prevention tips
Instead of jumping out of bed in a rush to start each day, try start your day with a relaxing ritual. You can write in your journal, do some gentle stretching, meditate or read some inspirational quotes to set the climate for your day.
With a balanced diet, healthy sleeping habits and regular exercise, your energy levels will increase, giving you the stamina needed to handle all your demands with ease.
Learn to say no! Saying no is not a negative trait, in fact it gives you the space to say yes to things you really enjoy doing and sets boundaries so that you aren’t taken advantage of.
Take time out from technology and nourish your creative side. Creativity is the most powerful way to alleviate a burnout. This does not mean you have to be an artist. You can get out into the garden or start a hobby, choose something that has nothing to do with work.
Learn how to manage and cope with your stress. Don’t keep silent about how you feel, and try to delegate the responsibilities instead of taking them all on. This will help you to regain your balance.
Recovering from a burnout
Sometimes it’s too late to prevent a burnout, however the tips do still apply as well as these additional steps:
You’ll need to force yourself to take a break or slow down, giving yourself space and time to reflect, relax and heal.
Don’t isolate yourself from family and friends, sometimes just discussing the situation can help alleviate a lot of the stress.
A burnout can be a sign that you are neglecting things that are most important to you. Take the time to re-evaluate your goals, hopes and dreams and figure out what truly makes you happy, then work towards them.
Take note of the losses you have incurred due to your burnout and work towards regaining what is important to you – friends, family, energy, identity, worth and self-mastery.
Finding a support system/group
In comparison to earlier generations, we don’t have the support of our families anymore. Plus there is the added pressure on women having to work and raise their children simultaneously. Mental health professionals state that building relationships with people is a prime tactic to bypass feelings of burnout.
If you can’t find a support group in your area, try searching online. Support groups allow parents to seek advice and vent their emotions, at the same time reminding moms of the power of their sense of humour when dealing with the day-to-day parenting issues.
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