Text Pippa Alcock. Photography Lize Wigley.
Source: This article is taken from the July 2011 issue of Cleo
Singer-songwriter Melanie Lowe shares her story of accepting her sexuality and finding true love.
I never got the chance to tell my parents I’m gay, because a newspaper did it for me. That Sunday morning in 1994, when my family came across the article about ‘lesbian singer, Melanie Lowe’, changed everything for us, and forced them to confront me. I didn’t deny the fact that I’m gay and was seeing someone, going against everything my conservative, religious parents believed in. In the past I’d had a couple of boyfriends, but I was always drawn more toward women than men. I opened up to a friend when I was 18, only to find she was also gay!
“It was such a relief knowing I wasn’t alone, but coming out was still a traumatic experience for me. Saying ‘I’m gay’ was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Although the reactions from friends were mostly positive, it still wasn’t easy. And I understand it was difficult for my family, too.
“I was in a really bad place at the beginning of 2010, after a difficult and public break-up. But then I finally met my soul mate Gaye Martin. We met the way many couples do, through mutual friends, at a gig of mine. Although I knew I had found someone very special, emotionally I wasn’t ready for another relationship. Through that time, the patience, understanding and unconditional love Gaye showed me blew my mind.
But after all that had transpired, I was naturally terrified of talking marriage again. I made her work pretty hard, but she’s patient and it paid off. By the time she proposed to me, I was more than ready to walk down the aisle. On March 5, 2011, we married in a small, intimate beach ceremony. I’ve always wanted to get married; I’m quite old-fashioned that way. And after all we’ve been through, my family was there, which meant a lot to me.
“Admitting to myself and my family that I’m gay was extremely challenging, but there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I want girls to know that they aren’t strange or doing something wrong. Never feel ashamed – God isn’t going to send you to hell.
Everyone deserves to find their special someone. I’m proud of who I am and LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex) social-movements’ rights have become a big cause for me. As far as I know, Gaye and I had the first celebrity, same-sex, lesbian wedding in SA, which is a big step in the right direction. We plan to have kids one day through artificial insemination, and I can’t wait!”
“I co-produced my latest album called / Choose Me, and it’s being released through my own label, Mellow Music. It’s got a rockier feel and most of the songs are very upbeat and positive, which fits right in with where I am in my life! It’s kind of a defiant ‘this is me, whether you like it or not’ stance that I’ve taken. I’m really proud of what we’ve achieved and I hope the music will speak to young girls out there who are fighting to be accepted for who they are.” Do you want to get in touch? Email admin@melanielowe.co.za, or visit Melanielowe.co.za.
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