Not everyone is quick off the mark to get everything done early in life. Some people need time to gather wisdom and make sense of the world around them. Four readers share their late blooming stories.
After a certain age, most people are afraid to take the risk of changing careers. Manana Mkata (47) changed her career when she was 40 years old.
I am the youngest of seven kids. I was raised by two wonderful parents who made sure that we never struggled for anything. Growing up, I always wanted to be a teacher – there was just something about teaching that fascinated me. When I was 14 years old, I approached our Sunday school teacher and told her I wanted to teach too. She wasn’t really surprised because I knew the catechism (a book that teaches you about catholic faith) off by heart, so she thought I would make a good teacher.
From there, I taught Sunday school and enjoyed every moment. I loved teaching so much that I made it my permanent job. Though teaching didn’t pay much, I loved every second of it. I got a lot of awards during my time as a teacher and those awards came in handy because we also got money which helped me take care of my family. I worked as a teacher for 16 years.
My late blooming moment
In 2000, I felt it was about time to resign as a teacher. I got into the taxi industry, which of course was challenging because it’s a male-dominated industry. I started with two Toyota Venture’s and business was ok but I wanted to expand my business so I went to see an estate agent to give me a second bond. While in her office, she asked me two interesting questions: First if I am making a lot of money in the taxi industry and I told her, it’s not a lot but it gets me through; then she asked me if I wanted to make a lot of money and of course my answer was yes. She then told me about the benefits of getting into the property industry and I was more than interested.
In 2006, at the age of 40, I changed my career path and became an estate agent. I made R40 000 profit from the first house I sold and from there I knew that I was in the right business. Changing careers was the best thing I could’ve done for my family and I.
We are now financially stable, I have paid off my house and all other debts I had. I have gone back to teaching part-time because it’s just one of those things I can’t let go of. Anyone who wants to change Careers but thinks it’s too late; get that thought out of your mind! It’s never too late for a challenge.
I didn’t have fantasies of wedding dresses instead I wanted to be a wedding planner. I didn’t want to get married so I knew kids were not part of my plan because I also didn’t want to be a single mom.
In most cultures, by 30, you are expected to have had at least one child and a husband. Yoliswa Finiza (38) was 37 and single when she had her first child.
I was born in Katlehong, Johannesburg and lived with both my parents for the first 12 years of my life before being sent to live with my grandparents in the former Transkei at Hlabathi near Nquza Hill.
Growing up, I wasn’t a typical girl. I didn’t have fantasies of wedding dresses instead I wanted to be a wedding planner, making dream dresses and decorating venues. The typical fairytale was just that, a fairytale. I didn’t want to get married so I knew kids were not part of my plan because I also didn’t want to be a single mom. I had other plans.
My late blooming moment
In my early 30s, I questioned what’s important in my life and the answers I came up with were family, children, a home and love. Then, I started to panic and looked for these things. I was scared I would make a rushed decision, and I did just that – I got into a relationship that has since failed and had a baby. Though it was not planned, I was physically and emotionally ready for a child and maybe that’s exactly why it happened when it did. In hindsight, I was hoping for something that would be mine and my daughter is just that – she’s the best thing in my life.
My brother and his fiance at the time were happy for me and they supported me; their love, time and patience were all I needed. My mom on the other hand, was not thrilled. For some reason, I don’t think she actually wanted me to get married and have children. My family thought I was lesbian, so when I came out with the news, it was a shock, but my mom has always been my pillar of strength and she is more of a mother to my little girl than I am.
I never thought I would be a mom and when I fell pregnant, I kept asking myself, “Do you think you can do this? Do you think you even deserve it?” But I was thankful nonetheless. I was on cloud nine and overwhelmed with joy. Having a life growing inside of you, even before any activity from the baby itself, is just an amazing thing. I started planning her education, career path, clothes and how differently I will do things from my parents.
My daughter was an unexpected precious surprise for me, but I don’t want more kids; it would be reckless. I feel children deserve to have everything in life and I cannot afford to do that for another child.
It’s never too late to grow and learn. My mom used to say “you learn ’till you die.” Studying doesn’t have an age restriction. To me, true education is to know something about everything.
At the age of 26, most women are trying to find their feet in the workplace, but Nomfusi Gotyana (26) is doing her first year in college.
I grew up with my mother and my two siblings in Port Elizabeth but sadly they later passed away. I’m an Aids orphan who has lost everyone except my half-brother to the disease. We lived in a shack, which my mother decorated beautifully, so even though it was a temporary structure, we never felt like we lived in poverty. Despite this, I had big dreams – I wanted to be a princess living in a big palace. I used to watch Cinderella and I wanted to be just like her; I wanted to be special.
After matric, I had the opportunity to study. For some reason, I chose to study accounting. I worked as a PA for our local church and working on the financial side of things made me realise that accounting is not for me.
Growing up, I always knew I could sing but I never thought I could make a career out of it. I used to sing in churches and community concerts and the reaction I got from the crowd was amazing. They made me realise that I should make a career out of this.
My late blooming moment
So this year, I decided to study. I was offered a scholarship by the Distell Foundation and I am currently studying my first year of music at COPA (Campus for Performing Arts) in Jo’burg.
I know that at my age, most people already have their degrees and are probably working on their honours. But I also know that it’s never too late to grow and learn. My mom used to say “you learn ’till you die.” Studying for me doesn’t have an age restriction. To me, true education is to know something about everything. The advantages of studying late are that when you’re older you know what you want and you go and get it. The disadvantage though is that it clashes with my hectic music career, but I’m coping. My advice for people who do things a little later than others in life is that we must know that positions and situations are there to expose you to yourself – who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are and how good or bad you are – so I say grab every situation with both hands.
The appropriate age to finish grade 12 is usually 17-18 years old. Thabile Nhlapho is only doing her matric at 37 years old.
I grew up in Newcastle with three older sisters. My childhood was not easy because I didn’t have a close relationship with my mother, as we lived with my father. My sister took on the role of being a mother to me while the other two lived with my grandmother.
Now I feel confident and ready to go back and finish my matric because giving up did me no good. Only I have the power to change my life and show my kids that it’s never too late to go after your dreams.
In 1992, when I was in grade 10, I fell pregnant and thought that was the end of me. My sisters were very supportive and they helped me go back to school until I reached grade 12. Life was hard with a child to take care of and even though my sisters were supportive it was not enough. So when I failed matric I thought I should get a job instead of repeating it.
I got a job earning R40 a week which made little difference in my life so I decided to quit and come to Johannesburg to look for better opportunities. I worked in a hotel as a waitress for seven years and then got small jobs here and there. I regretted quitting school, I was a young mother who had no direction; I needed to find a way to support myself and my child. Quitting school was the only way forward for me at that time. I was so close to finishing and now I regret it because I could be doing a lot of things with my life.
My late blooming moment
Growing up, I was surrounded by educated people and I believed in education. It meant a lot then and it still does now because I realise that I wouldn’t be suffering as much if I hadn’t quit all those years ago. But now I feel confident and ready to go back and finish my matric because giving up did me no good. I now know that only I have the power to change my life and show my children that it is never too late to go after your dreams. I am very scared though; the thought of being in class with these young, cool kids sends shivers down my spine, but I will make it.
Anyone who wants to go back to school at an old age needs to be patient, even when it’s hard. Always remember that you are never too old to learn. You have to work hard to make your life a success.
Text: Amanda Ndlangisa. Pictures: Isaac Mofokeng, Shaun Smith, Peter Whitfield and Jon Cottam. Article from the November 2012 issue of Bona Magazine.
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