Photos: Gallo Images/Getty Images/Afp. Article from the December 2011 issue of Sports Illustrated Magazine.
Chop of the year – Bryce Lawrence
Spare a thought for Keith Lawrence, the referee manager for the Sevens World Series and a man once referred to as a “pioneer of the pro referee era in NZ rugby”. Because Keith Lawrence is father to Bryce.
So the man who did so much to grow the stature of Kiwi referees has had his legacy undone by his very own offspring. It’s like Star Wars, or Shakespeare.
Forget that dreadful quarterfinal, what really gets to us is how Bryce’s abilities seem to fall apart primarily when he’s in charge of a game involving an SA team – take a look at the disaster that was the Crusaders vs Sharks this year. That’s a red card from us, Bryce. We hope it was worth it.
Couple of the year – Caroline Wozniacki and Rory McIlroy
Their relationship was baptised in the blood and sweat of the Haye vs Klitsehko fight, and paraded on the courts of the New Haven Open. The only question is: which sport will their glorious progeny conquer? (I’m guessing badminton – Ed.) Mcllroy broke up with his childhood sweetheart, Holly Sweeney, to date Wozniacki. After Mcllroy hit that tree root during the Masters, Sweeney – who, it must be said, is smoking hot – tweeted: “Mcllroy wrist injury fears: Well that’s what happens when ye get rid of yer girlfriend!”
Tweet of the year
@morgandeane: “Sex is gooooood with @GraemeSmith49.”
Not much to say, really. We’ll just shuffle away awkwardly then.
Sports babe of the year – Hope Solo
With a name that sounds like a poem, a riverine body and an Olympic gold medal on her mantelpiece, this fiercely competitive USA goalkeeper makes the seats behind the net the best in the house for 45 minutes of the game.
This year she played an instrumental role in getting the USA into the FIFA Women’s World Cup final by denying the Brazilians a penalty shoot-out.
Heartbreak of the year – Foppe De Haan
Ajax Cape Town’s coach was the victim of one of the most open and exciting Premier Soccer League seasons in living memory. Ajax needed a win against Maritzburg Stars in their very last game to clinch the league for the first time in the club’s history, and when they went one-nil up in the 42nd minute, it seemed like a sure thing. But then came the equaliser, and then a tragic fumble by goalie Hans Vonk saw Maritzburg lead 2-1.
A last-ditch effort by Sameehg Doutie in the 85th minute saw Ajax draw level, but it was too little, too late. Pirates won their match and topped the log on goal difference. It was the last game of the season, and Foppe de Haan’s last game in charge. What would have been a fitting farewell for a legendary coach turned into the heartbreak of the year. (De Haan is currently the coach of Tuvalu, a tiny island in the Pacific, where the water is warm and the locals are friendly. Not a bad retirement!)
Working class hero of the year – Hank McGregor
On top of holding down a day job running his construction company in Durban, McGregor became the first paddler to win every single South African K1 and K2 title in surfski, flatwater marathon and river marathon racing in a calendar year. Plus, he bagged the K1 world marathon championship in Singapore in October!
Facelift of the year – Shane Warne
“New Estee Lauder moisturisers for my skin have made a big difference.” Right. And Kevin Pietersen is rhyming slang for Brandon ‘Canadian Refugee’ Huntley. Don’t get us wrong. We think Warnie looks great. For a 41-year-old. And we don’t really care whether he’s into cosmetic surgery. But he’s trying to put a spin on his appearance. And that’s just not cricket.
Hairplugs of the year – Jacques Kallis, Wayne Rooney, Doug Bollinger
Of the three follically challenged sportsmen, soccer star Wayne Rooney was the one who handled the change best when he posted a picture of his new hair on Twitter with the message: “Hi all there’s my head. It will take a few months to grow. Still a bit bloody too. But that’s all normal.”
From the horse’s mouth
SuperSport presenters choose their 2011 sporting highs and lows…
Carol Tshabalala
Highlights
“Definitely being with the world’s best soccer players as host of the FIFA Ballon D’or awards in Zurich in January. I was the first host from South Africa to be given this honour, and hosted with CNN’s Pedro Pinto. After the FIFA World Cup in SA, it was great to mingle with Lionel Messi, Xavi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wesley Schneider, Jose Mourinho, Lucas Radebe and many others.”
Lowlights
“The Proteas yet again failing to conquer the Cricket World Cup. Further egg on our faces was our very own Gary Kirsten leading India to victory. We got our own back, though, as he is now our coach.”
Neil Andrews
Highlights
“Highlight of the year for me was Charl Schwartzel’s maiden Major win at Augusta. Truth is I tipped the boy from Vereeniging to win the US Masters and didn’t forget to back him myself at odds of 125-1. Charl’s birdie-birdie-birdie-birdie finish juxtaposed with Rory Mcllroy’s agonising implosion was pure theatre and had every self-especting South African jumping on their bed and waking up the neighbours.”
Lowlights
“Two issues continue to get my goat. Firstly, with the technology available I still can’t fathom out why we have to endure poor refereeing decisions week in and week-out in world football. I refuse to subscribe to the theory that poor decisions ‘even out’ at the end of the season. What a lot of codswallop! Staying with football, I remain disillusioned with the advent of player power. Inflated egos are rife in the game and one can only hope that future professionals model themselves on Messi rather than Tevez.”
Pommie Mbangwa
Highlights
“I was torn between two individual performances that occurred in the Test series against India last summer – at the same ground and on the same day: AB de Villiers ‘fastest Test century for a South African (just 75 balls) and Jacques Kallis’ maiden double century.
Considering that a 200 for Kallis was the one thing missing from his glittering career, his 201 not out pips AB’s century for highlight of the year.” (Yes we know AB and Jacques posted these scores in December last year, but we still count the 2010/11 cricket season as part of 2011 – Ed.)
Lowlights
“A low point was seeing my beloved Manchester United being defeated once again by Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League final.
And another downer was anticipating watching Usain Bolt (pictured) in the IAAF World Championships, only for him to be disqualified in the final.
To be honest, I’m still not over it.”
Andy Capostagno
Highlights
“The game that stands out is the Cheetahs beating the Crusaders in Bloemfontein during the Super 15. It was a night when Ashley Johnson outplayed Richie McCaw and Sias Ebersohn was too good for Dan Carter.”
Lowlights
“Without a doubt the lowlight of 2011 was the boardroom bust-up at Cricket South Africa. It’s amazing to think that Gerald Majola and Mtutuzeli Nyoka played in the same Eastern Cape side together a generation ago. Something that should have been resolved over a glass of claret has the potential to stifle the growth of the game in SA.”
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