ShowMe South Africa

ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a common diagnosis amongst children and the symptoms can continue throughout the adult years.

It was initially believed that kids with ADHD would “outgrow” the disorder in their teens or early adult life. However, recent studies suggest that this is simply not the case and it is estimated that of all the children diagnosed with ADHD, 50% have continued to experience symptoms throughout their lives.

Relationship issues are an extremely common trait amongst those with ADHD. Because sufferers have difficulty concentrating, which could leave you feeling that your partner doesn’t care about you and you may even consider him/her to be self-centred. This can place an immense strain on your relationship.

A person with ADHD is difficult to love. You never know what to say or how to behave. It’s like you’re constantly walking on eggs, unsure of which word will set off an explosion of emotion.

Life is a little more difficult for a person with ADHD, as everything is magnified and intense. The problem is that their brilliant minds are constantly in gear thinking, designing and creating and never resting.

True love is unconditional, but ADHD presents a situation that tests the limits of your love. Learning a new mind-set to deal with the emotional rollercoaster you’re faced with every day, will bring peace into both your lives.

Your relationship will become more enjoyable, by understanding how your partner with ADHD feels.

You’ll become more tolerant, patient, compassionate and loving by taking these points into consideration:

• The ADHD brain doesn’t switch off and this is a burden that your partner will need to learn to manage.
• Your partner will listen to you without taking anything in. Even if your partner looks at you, watches your lips move, and hears your words – within 5 words their minds are on another journey.
• Your partner will have difficulty concentrating on a task as his/her mind wonders constantly.
• ADHD sufferers are deep thinkers and extremely sensitive to everything that is going on around them and this can easily leave them feeling anxious.
• Feeling uncomfortable in a social environment is very common. They are aware that they are different and are afraid of saying something foolish or reacting inappropriately. Holding back feels safer.
• Emotional turmoil makes it almost impossible for your partner to concentrate on conversation, work and social situations.
• When your partner does manage to concentrate, they’ll do it too intensely and will find it difficult to stop a task once they’re in the zone.
• Completing tasks on time or making decisions is a struggle. This is not due to laziness or irresponsibility, it’s because their minds are full of possibilities and options.
• Your partner’s emotions can fly out of proportion and can’t be contained. The tangled wires in their brilliant brains make feelings and thoughts difficult to process. All that is needed is a little space for them to be able to process their feelings.
• Verbal outbursts are very common and difficult to regulate, since they impulsively mention whatever they think. They often regret things they have said later on and it’s almost impossible for them to reflect on their words before they release them.
• They are deeply intuitive, seeing beyond what is. This inspirational trait is what makes for creative geniuses, artists, inventors, writers and musicians.
• Thinking out of the box is another wonderful aspect of ADHD, since their abstract minds see solutions to problems that your average thinker cannot see.
• They are fidgety, impatient and annoyed easily. They constantly play with their phones, bounce their leg up and down or twirl their hair, since they constantly need motion, which is a calming Zen activity for them.
• Piles are their favourite method of organizing. Once the piles grow too high, they become frustrated, overwhelmed and only then clean up. It’s difficult for a person with ADHD to keep things in order because their brain doesn’t function in an orderly manner.
• They need space to pace as ADHD sufferers think better when they are in motion, which brings clarity to their thoughts and is calming.
• The words, thoughts, emotions and touch of a person with ADHD is always powerful. They are passionate about everything they do. They give it all they’ve got. They are perceptive, intense and deep. This is a quality that makes the person with ADHD so lovable.

People with ADD/ADHD have many beautiful qualities that you will enjoy once you understand how they feel and think. Patience, compassion and empathy will carry you through the most difficult times. Love and compassion will take the place of anger and you will see into their sweet and good soul.